Text Us When You Get There
“Text us when you get to your hotel, so we know you are safe!” They said, as my new friends exited the car. I still had another stop beyond theirs and I was now continuing alone. I was traveling by myself, and they knew the risk we all took in navigating a new city solo.
Last summer, I visited Oaxaca for the first time. As with any solo trip, I had a little stress about making it there safely. If you’re an adept traveler, you know the riskiest part of a trip is not the flight itself but getting from the airport to your hotel. It’s the portion where you’re most likely to get ripped off or driven somewhere you don’t know.
Before arriving in Oaxaca, I had a 6-hour layover in Mexico City. I lounged about until I realized I was now running late for my flight. In my moment of panic, I got to the general area of where I thought my fellow Oaxaca-bound travelers were and got the attention of a fellow young women who was waiting in line.
Me: “Is this the line for Oaxaca?”
Her: “I think so?”
Me: “Well your guess is as good as mine! I’ll stay here.”
We ended up starting a conversation and I realized that her and her partner were both from Brooklyn, and I mentioned how I had been living in NY up until the start of the pandemic. It was a brief exchange, but after getting on the flight, we parted ways as they sat down in their seats.
As I was on the flight, I thought to myself…what are the chances that these two ladies were 1) also staying in downtown Oaxaca and 2) open to sharing a taxi. My Spanish was virtually nonexistent so negotiating a rate was not ideal. I laid out my plan. If I saw them at baggage check, I would make the proposal.
After deplaning from our flight. I waited for my bag and came across them. I proposed my idea and made the ask to share a cab…and they immediately said yes! I breathed the biggest sigh of relief that I wasn’t going to be travelling by myself in a taxi and was now with someone who spoke Spanish more fluently than I did.
On the ride over, we found out we had many overlapping interests and were even going to be in Mexico City at the same time! I didn’t just find two random travelers to carpool with, I found two friends who I actually wanted to see again.
As we neared the city center, their hotel came up first. Ren, my friend from the plane, spoke to the driver in Spanish and helped reinterpret it to me. He was going to drive me a few more blocks up until the cars were blocked from the street. I would then have to walk to my hotel.
As we exchanged information and took a picture before parting ways, they said:
“Text us when you get to your hotel, so we know you are safe!”
To which I assured them I would and later did.
There is something about this act that all women have experienced at some point in time. As we leave for our respective destinations, it’s almost clockwork that we tell the other to text us when you get home as if it’s always a risk that we may not make it.
This is the risk we all take as female travelers. This is the risk we take as women just existing.
We operate through a set of rules. One that is unspoken in how we look out for each other because we know what it means to travel by ourselves. We know the risk that comes with the desire to explore the world as a woman by herself. The statement from our loved ones to “Be careful! Be safe!” are all too familiar.
In reality, saying “Be safe!” doesn’t actually help much. It inflicts fear, without rationale. Be safe from what? The boogie man? “Be safe because of ______.” Help us look out for what we need to stay safe from. Hyper vigilance can only go so far.
If we see someone by herself or in distress, we step in and pull her away. We offer a helping hand in this sisterhood because we get it; the world is not ready for strong, independent women to roam around it. The world is not designed for women to roam around it freely, safely.
In the absence of the world not being ready, we make it safer for each other because that’s what we need to do.
It’s what we must do.
Note: I originally wrote this back in September of 2021. I wrote it as it related to my experience as a solo female traveler. However, at the time of this publishing, Christina Lee, a 35-year-old Asian woman who lived in New York, was brutally murdered in her own apartment after being followed through her door by her murderer. It is disturbing to say the least. I am around the same age and have also gone home at late hours.
If you’re looking for some suggestions on how to look out for one another, here are a few best practices my friends and I have taken:
- Check in on your friends if you part ways late in the evening.
- Share your locations with each other (even if temporarily)
- Stay on the phone with them until they have safely walked into their home.
- If you’re dropping them off, wait until you have seen them unlock their door and walk inside.
Take care of each other please.
